Sunday, January 8, 2012

This time next Sunday we will be heading out to the airport for the the beginning of our journey. This morning as I knelt down at church tears welling up in my eyes, my palms sweating, my stomach churning with the nervousness and the adrenaline running thru my body.  I prayed to God and to all my Saints that I always pray too and of course my Guardian Angels. I am not leaving anyone out for this one. I said to God "please give a sign that this is the road that I am supposed to be traveling down. I am so scared Lord". Right after I said that the choir broke out in song, they sang "The First Noel" . I don't care what anyone thinks that was my sign.
Some of you are probably asking why am I so nervous. Its not that I have any doubts about this adoption it is the fear of the unknown and what changes will take place with my family. I am so scared that I will not have enough love for both children. I know that sounds crazy, but for the past 10 years Jaclyn has been the only one getting all my love. Will I have enough to go around?  Will Jaclyn feel that she is loved less? It is freaking me out to be honest. I am very nervous that Jaclyn's life will be turned upside down. I DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN!!!   She is my world and I don't for a second want her to feel otherwise.
I strongly believe from the beginning that Kiril was put on this earth to be a Charbonneau. I still feel that in my soul. I think that Kiril and Jaclyn will do great together. I am sure there will be hurdles for all of us to get over. With God on my side I have the faith that I will be able to do this. Of course with all your prayers as well, it will all be OK.
Well I better get off this computer and start packing!!!
Thanks for being there!!!
Many Blessings


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2 comments:

  1. SusanJanuary 8, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    While it will be hard for you all to adjust to the addition to your family, it is in these hard times that God grows us. Through all the smiles, hug, love, trials, tears (good and bad), etc you will all learn more of who God is and what He's able to do! We'll continue to pray for all 4 of you through this process and beyond.
    Also, I completely understand the nervousness....and the unknown! :)

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  2. AliJanuary 9, 2012 at 5:55 AM

    This is going to be such a wonderful journey for you all. You are one of the kindest, most compassionate families that I know. And you, yourself, are so strong and loving. You are going to make Kiril have a life, a world, and a family. How amazing. I am so glad that Jac will be able to experience part of this journey with you and Steph. I think it is so important for her to see, first hand, where Kiril comes from. I think it will give her a whole new respect for her new brother.

    You are so many people who are praying for you and who believe that THIS is the right choice for you. You are not alone. And when you get home, you will have all these wonderful people to support you through the adjustment period.

    Lots of love and good luck to all of you.
    Safe travels. I will keep up with your blog....

    xoxo
    Ali

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